My bag is going to be heavy tomorrow.

I'm so tired but there's a test tomorrow, so I HAVE TO STUDY, OMG (apparently, even though we were let off particularly early today, it didn't really help me that much).

My PDP owes me a lot of things - it sounds really barbaric but it's true - WHERE IS MY SHIRT AND SHOE BAG? Seriously; responsibility, people!

Friday is going to suck BIG time =.= (as the days draw nearer, the prospect of having to Bunbury becomes more frightening). And I have to bring lots of things over to do/revise too. ZzZ. 

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On the bright side;

HAHA I got my Jalou by D&G! XDDD It's sooo pretty (IMO) and I lovveee it! Holding it makes me feel like a sophisticated lady :D

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I really don't feel like studying today. Or running tomorrow and on Friday. 

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It's going to sound weird, but I can't wait for CNY to be OVER. OVER. 

I really must say that I don't like festivals, even though my mom says that that is bad, because one has nothing else to be happy about. Wrong! I JUST don't like festivals! Or noise, or crowds. They make me feel like I'm going to become deaf. 

Peace and tranquility for me, please. 

 Life's been moderately well, except for today's dinner (i'm eating PORRIDGE at the moment).

OMG, I saw Angeline's new awesome phone and it made me SO TEMPTED TO GET A NEW PHONE TOO!! 

My damn phone is just old and useless and slow.

My mom checked it out for me and I realised that my plan expired last year, so actually I could have just changed my phone since last year, OMG.

I don't know what to get, but I want a clamshell phone - and there's limited choices! BUTTT I think I FOUND MY DREAM PHONE:



Jalou by Dolce and Gabbana 

OMG it's FREAKING AWESOME AND DAMN BEAUTIFUL AND ITS A CLAMSHELL PHONE!!! (WITH A MIRROR). My mom said she would get it for me *tears* and thankfully my current phone can trade in quite a sum, so she wouldn't have to pay a lot.

Mom said that as long as I study hard, she'll get anything for me T_T

I can't believe I'm blogging when I'm like, SO BUSY.

Reached home late, gobbled down some food REALLY LATE, have to sleep ULTRA LATE.

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Some people just like to victimise themselves.

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It's controversial, but personally, I believe that one should love her family more if she has no heart to love her friends and family equally. 

 I spent the whole weekend in front of the computer, researching and planning my future. That is, if I can actually carve it out the way I want.

It's a really tough route T.T

I didn't exactly waste my time - I did because I should have been studying, but I didn't, because one should always plan for her future way beforehand, RIGHT?

Then again, whatever future I try to map out won't come true if i flunk my A's. 

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Sigh; if only I'm rich! 

(What's the point of lamenting about this, seriously -.-)

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And I'm seriously HUNGRY. I need to sleep soon. 

I feel that I've gone off-track this week (I'm supposed to say this in retrospect, on Friday night, but oh wells).

I must keep reminding myself that each day I am one step closer to it. 

Right.

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I can't describe how I feel, because my feelings at the moment are really conflicting. On one hand, I feel happy and excited, and on the other, I feel so morally depressed -.- 

And for no reason at all, I will ask myself what I am doing and I don't really know. 

If only I live in Gingerbread Land. The worst thing you can do is to start eating your bread-couch. 

Arghhh I couldn't study inflation today. I shall try again later ): I was hungry the whole day, for no apparent reason - and when I'm hungry I cannot READ. OMG.

Or I'll just study tomorrow. 

i think I ate a little too much today :/

I got myself a GREY shawl HAHAHAHA!

I am SO craving for a plain waffle.

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There's just so many new things to read and study, and at the same time, so much of past year's work that I have to revise. It seems like i can never finish them - or rather, when can I actually start on them? T.T

Time is precious indeed. 

 I'm halfway through my Lit essay and I haven't started revising for the Econs test :P

I'm so in love with the name Bunbury. I'll name it after something - I don't know what yet, though.

I need to invent a Bunbury for myself soon. 

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It's a painful and heart-wrenching decision, so I've not decided yet, but I'm tilting towards one side - for the benefit of myself and others. 
You see, it's not nice to walk into someone's life knowing it's just temporary. 

Today hasn't been a good day.

The weekend is going to be packed with stuff (well, there isn't a LOT of stuff, its just like, I'm going to spend many many hours on just one thing on my to-do list)

Damn the weather, it literally froze me SO BADLY during lessons today. SO BADLY. 

Unfortunately I don't want excess blubber to protect me from the cold. 

Plus, there's two freaking ugly bruises on my legs - one on my knee and another on my shin (OMG I HATE THIS ONE OMGOMGOMGOMG). Both of them are like, kind of huge at the moment. I have no idea where they came from, and thankfully, they are starting to hurt when I rub them. 

During my training, my sore throat was at its peak, and there was a sharp pain in my right temple. I'm betting its due to the multiple freezes I experienced earlier on. I felt so terrible, I didn't want to talk at all. 

And I was hungry.

I whined a little to my mom and felt better. 

I WILL NOT FALL SICK. 

I'm going to spam star fruits (haha I just bought 2) and Panadol pills. 

I am going to get a shawl, because it's light enough to put in my bag (my classmate gave me this brilliant idea). I don't care if I can't carry it off well. 

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There a few things I need to make sure of, and it irritates me that I cannot do it NOW. Like NOW.

I need to bind my AI notes ASAP or I will die of "imperfection". 

I need to do my SEA History project. 

And I'm kind of hungry again.

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I've decided that I am going to become someone who puts her dreams before everything else. 

It's so tough to live a goalless life. It makes one wonder what the point of living is. 

I am going to fulfill my dreams with zest and passion!!! (I do have Plan B, however) 

I realised that THAT or THAT are really the only things that I might want to do in life.

I can foresee myself committing suicide before 30 due to severe depression if I do something else instead (like becoming some property agent for example). 

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It is really frustrating when you ARE putting in effort and whatsoever into your pattern, but people just tell you plainly that you look like you are dancing or not taking it seriously. 

It IS funny, because dancing is one of the last things I can do. I just did not expect that I could do it while i was doing something supposedly 100% different.
*rolls eyes*

Thankfully it's just a few more months. And after that, when I have the time to pick up this sport again, I'm going back to where I first started this. 

Really, it's for responsibility and people i consider as friends, that I'm still here. 

Let's not think about unhappy things. 

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So let's think of Bunbury.HAHAHA whenever I think of Bunbury I really can't help but laugh. 



I think of Buneary whenever I say "Bunbury". HAHAHAHAHA IT'S SO FUNNY OMG!!!!

BunburyBunburyBunburyBunburyBunbury HAHAHAHAH!!!

 I'm so tired today, thanks to the run -.- 

(It's inevitable that I'm the last; nobody can beat me in this! And this is nothing to be proud of.)

I really envy people whose bodies can generate endorphins, because apparently mine can't. I derive no joy from physical exercise! I do try to trick myself that I am very happy while I'm running, but really, I am not. 

The only good thing about exercise is that it boosts my immune system. I aim to remain healthy and well, at least, until after CNY. 

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My eyes were threatening to close during Math! OMG I can't stand sampling! I'll just skip those questions during exams.

I've been trying to find creativity in my life every day, but sometimes i just can't help but wonder what I'm actually doing. And I'm - well, kind of afraid of what's going to happen to me after A Levels ):

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I miss YJ and XQ T_T (Apparently our outing didn't come true!) 

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I want to sleep ):

When I see such GROSS INJUSTICE before my eyes, my blood will boil.

You think you are being kind, huh (well, you explicitly said that you were kind-hearted and there was nothing you could do about it!)?
I'm tired of repeating myself, but you are really being dumb and selfish, actually.

You have no morals or principles. 

Stop asking me what I want you to do, or what you can do, because i gave you a simple solution which you turned a freaking deaf ear to. 

You are not very different from that bastard, so perhaps both of you should hug each other and f*** off. Seriously. 

I will not speak to you, or give any hint that I am aware of your existence, ever again. 

Ugh, INJUSTICE!!!! OMG. 

 It feels as if I have lots of stuff undone (like the SEA History project, for example)?

And I've picked out many issues of the TIME magazine to read at my leisure - these are the ones that I mostly skimp through without reading a single article :P I actually only like the Verbatim :D

It's going to be CNY soon but so many people are falling sick already ): 

I must resolve to keep myself healthy! DRINK MORE WATER. 

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We are going to have juniors really soon. I realised that I am someone who is afraid of a change in status quo, actually. 
It's going to horrify me.

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I'm trying to hard to decipher some really bizarre MTVs -.-

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And again, 

i'm just sitting here, daydreaming about you; 

I feel like I haven't been eating enough these days ):

(And I'm craving for bread, bread and more bread)

I'll open a small and sophisticated bakery after I retire, and hire two bakers; one for the bakery and one for my own. 

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I am SO SO SO SO SO HAPPY that I don't have to go swimming though! (Although I have to train for road run in the first term and do something else in the second term)

Anything, anything that will save me from swimming or cutting myself to escape from it :DDD

Besides, running is good for me anyway.

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I feel like I don't have a life, because I will be extremely tired by 10PM and I cannot seem to wake up beyond 7.30AM -.- 

I've been hardworking (I consider it as being so) yesterday, coupled with a really bad (I don't know where that came from) temper. So I didn't speak much. 

I feel like I want do something fun, like playing a game or something, but there's nothing that I PARTICULARLY want to play with now. This feeling sucks. (Okay suddenly I feel like playing the Mcdonald's video game and go bankrupt)

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Gawd I hate incest and its many forms. I hate it hate it hate it hate it! It's gross, despicable and damnable (except in Wuthering Heights). 

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You gave me a surprise that was neither extremely pleasing nor irritating - but yes, it's still a good surprise :) 

 I'm going to put all my unused Secondary school exercise books into good use! I will not let the trees die in vain!

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I'm trying so hard but failing spectacularly in trying to link the two texts together. 

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I've been getting loads of soft toys of all different sizes lately :D 
Really, soft toys are so adorable but rather useless and a waste of space. Their only use is to hide drugs, perhaps - HAHAHA.

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Gawddd I hate P.E. Seriously.

Finally we're all back to school - I'm half-excited. Only.

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I'm upset with the choice of the CG photo in the year book. Gosh this freaking photo will remind me of 2009 FOREVER (me with a big fat bun face. Why did they pick that photo OMG)!!

Double periods are so depressing, although they don't pass THAT slowly YET.

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I decided that my nose is severely allergic to chlorine and I suffer from a horrible flu if I come into contact with dissolved chlorine.  [IT'S TRUE]

I'm going to cut fruits. While I am cutting them, I accidentally slash my palm and leave a gaping wound on it. Salt will only aggravate my wound and I will die of infections. 

I don't really like to cut fruits actually, so don't force me to do it. 

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Although it's already 10+ days past 2010, I realised that I have not made my new year resolutions yet!

2010 resolutions:

1. Cliche-but-everybody-including-me-wants-to-ace-A-levels 
2. Lose more weight!!!!! £*@%£*^!@!(@)!*)^& (without drinking chlorine)
3. Consistently help my siblings with their school work (if I can do it and if they ask me)
4. Build up my pathetic stamina (hopefully I can pass NAPHA this time round)
5. Indulge in one girly pleasure/hobby (I'll think of one)
6. Watch Harry Potter when it's out
7. Meet up with my friends :D
8. Continue my obsession with Wuthering Heights if the new movie is going to be out this year (please let it be good - OMG I hated the Charlotte Riley one)
9. Fall in love all over again with Wuthering Heights (like Catherine I have a "wondrous attachment to old ties" [books])
10. Leave my A Level question papers on the examination tables before I leave
11. Successfully pass all my gradings 
12. Donate blood (I freaking fell sick last year when the blood donation drive came to school - WTH, I sound like I was making an excuse, which I swear I wasn't - and perhaps Xiu Qin is able to come with me now if we're doing this outside, since she's gained weight, HAHAHAHA)
13. Promise myself that I will not be lazy and consistently donate blood yearly
15. Teach the infant more English (currently he freaking ignores me if I speak to him in English, and the only English words he knows are soyi [sorry], banana, apper [apple], bue [blue], pepel [purple] and pin [pink])
16. Start drafting my 2011 resolutions

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i wanted to summarise all the AI research notes so I can save a lot of space on the binder, but I have not even started it yet -.-

When I read notes at night, I feel like I want to die. And there's something wrong with the light. It makes everything glaring to my eyes. 

Haha I can wake up an hour late tomorrow :D




 

Today was rather chilly - at school, I mean :D
But i saw my friends again! Although I'm seeing them SOON hahaha. 

(I'm so going to die for GP!) 

I am spending hours on ONE essay outline, can you imagine that?!?!? I still have 10 more to go - OMG.

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I am very passionate about the "nothing real on reality television" question, but I cannot find anything to write about it -.-

Yea man honestly there is really nothing real about it, hahaha! I've been hating variety shows or anything similar FOR YEARS. 

I'm so happy that there are sensible people out there who KNOW and AGREE that reality TV is SO REHEARSED and FAKE and ABSOLUTELY UNENTERTAINING. 

Please, they are trying to make you laugh on purpose. They make jokes or act silly/stupid/whatever on purpose. They showcase the best, appropriate faces they can do in order to get the camera pointing at their faces. 

Who can act like themselves when they are faced with a camera? How do you know everything is not choreographed for your pleasure? 

(Especially Taiwanese ones. Even when those celebrities are discussing their private lives, they look like they are trying very hard to sound cute/stupid/funny/adorable. IDK why my mom likes to watch them -.-)

I can't stand them seriously!!

That is why I would rather watch dramas/movies which are REALLY choreographed for our entertainment and do not lie about it. Or reality TV that showcases real singing/dancing/whatever talent, and ignore the MC who tries to make witty comments. 

I still have nothing to write for my outline. 

 Been moping around at home (as usual).

I lovee the BOOMZX outing on Tuesday - YEA MAN finally I get to meet my "long lost" friends! And thank you for the Xmas presents/cards XDDD

 I am not much of a picture-person too. 

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Yay, meeting BOOMZXZX tomorrow!!!!! (Guess what, I really haven't seen most of them for a MONTH A MONTH A MONTH!!!) That's CRAZYYYY!!

So yea I'm going to meet them tomorrow :PPPPPPP

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And I'm watching Chipmunks 2 with my family on Wednesday. It's been SO LONG since we had a family outing *sheds tears*

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Ron Ng is still so handsome. May our 5-year love affair last forever!!! (At least, until another super-hot and younger star pops out before my eyes). 

Gawwwdd my brother is the worst thing alive -.-

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I rented Orphan from the video store and hehehehe it was wonderful - but the plot is somewhat similar to Murderer.

Makes me feel like wanting to act sometime, someday (: As a psychotic killer too!!!!

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The auntie at the video rental store finally made the most truthful reaction I had ever had from people when I told them my name.

The name I barely use.

"Wow, it sounds just like a boy's name!"

And she even wrote out my name -.-

That's really great T_T

 I am not a festive person. 

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I caught a mysterious "cold", because I have no flu symptoms but my fingers are feeble (I cannot even clasp them in fists), my arms are feeble and I feel so tired for no reason.


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I cannot wait for next Tuesday and Wednesday (: Such days make me happy, not festivals or birthdays :D

 I am NOT going to eat cereal anymore (for idk how long). I can't believe this. T_T I have been unhappy the whole day! 

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After four hours, Andrea and i have finally finished the History essay! (SCREAMS IN DELIGHT)  But we were under the word count xP

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What pains me the most: people giving me a look of disbelief and incredulity when I tell them that I am not a hardworking person, and have never been.

Simply put: What pains me the most: not being trusted when I am telling the most truthful of truths (which means something because I usually just tell a truthful truth, or the truth).

To put it even more simply, What pains me the most: those that I have faith in, have no faith in me (because I usually tell the most truthful of truths to such people).  

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There are just SO MANY ridiculous things on earth.

Paying $188 (around there, I think), just to go up to the stage and guess that it is Christmas after he drew a Christmas tree and asked, "What festival does this represent?"

Or, "what is my favourite food?" And go up to feed him. After you have paid the $188, of course.

Sounds familiar. 

Honestly, I'll rather go to the Zoo and throw peanuts at monkeys. Or pay $188 to touch an exotic python. 

No no, I won't pay $188 to see or feed LMH, or to decipher that he is trying to show us that it's Christmas from his hand-drawn Christmas tree. 

What is the world coming to? Poor thing, he's being treated like an animal. 

And poor fangirls (but perhaps not very bright), for some have to borrow money to buy the ticket, just to go up there and ogle and drool at him.

Which only pushes me from the neutral line to become a little anti-LMH :D But it doesn't really make much sense, because he's probably forced by his company to accept money for girls to drool at him. HAHA.